Romance

"When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and deeply impressive. Unfortunately, nothing of the kind came to mind."

"She looks me dead in the face and says, “The safe word is going to be ‘immigration,’ because you know I’ll stop it."

"You’re not worried about being compromised, are you?” he asked. “Because I’ve already done that."

"The first time you went out, you became mixed up with a group of radical political terrorists.”“That could have happened to anyone!"

"Simon gave her a startled look. 'I don't believe I have ever been condescended to by a woman before.' She shrugged. 'It was probably past time."

"I’d like to say I’m not dressed up for anyone in particular, but that would be a lie."

"You should really smile more Miss.” “Smiling Is overrated.” my voice as sharp as a knife, my voice deadpanned, as I sulked at the wall."

"The fish is that perfect, amazing guy it can never work out with—you know, a bird and a fish may fall in love—but where would they live? . . . So the fish is your total dream guy, he’s smart, he’s handsome, he gets all your jokes, he loves to talk, he gives you a nine-hour orgasm and then makes you homemade chocolate chip pancakes and serves you breakfast in bed—but he lives all the way across the country and neither of you can move, or he’s married, or next in line for the throne, or he has a terminal disease or something . . . the fish."

"If he sees you in this apartment he will seriously murder you and then break up with me.  And I really, really don’t want him to break up with me, Linc.”“But murdering me, that’s all good?"

"She’s not ready and maybe she never will be, but I won’t stop trying. I’ll be patient if it kills me. I can just see it now. Cooper Hebert died of blue balls and a broken heart."

"I want to rip the rest of those buttons open and climb him like a monkey in a banana tree. Oh God, what I would do with his banana..."

"He’s so fucking unconventionally perfect. I don’t know whether I want to kick him in the balls or lick his face."

"My ex wants to come and rescue me.’‘Too late! I already rescued you. Who does this guy think he is?"

"Holy swoonballs!"

"God, woman.” He closed his fist, not bothering to count off the dozens of other things she shouldn’t do. “You give me heartburn.”“No. Those are orgasms I give you, baby."

"She giggled. Giggled. Her cheeks pinked, and goddamn, if this plane didn’t get to the gate and un-board them, he was going to pull the emergency hatch."

"This many pretty girls in the room, all watching you boys like you’re a wedding-reception one-night stand waiting to happen—"

"You’re gorgeous. You’re sexy. You’re … asking me to cut that dress off you? I’m praying for strength."

"American girls shivered and quivered at the Aussie accent whispered against their bodies."

"While you’re singing something romantic, I can’t get the lyrics to ‘Love and Marriage’ out of my head, and that tune always reminds me of the jingle from Jeopardy."